The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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