Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
