Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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