I'm sorry my penis didn't work
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
