My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
