Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
