tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
