Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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