oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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