did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
