Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize