my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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