Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
