you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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