it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize