Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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