You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
