i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
