Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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