literally had 100 drinks last night.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
