Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize