stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
