Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
