it hurts more in the daytime
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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