hell yes lets make some ravioli
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
