A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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