Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
