Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
