my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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