what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
