thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
