I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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