We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
