I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I understand Curling. That high.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
