fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
