She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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