My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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