look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
