She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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