was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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