Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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