If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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