Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
