Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
