You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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