some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
