Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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