She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
