Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
