I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
