I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
