I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
