I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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