Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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