I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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