no, he came in my armpit
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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