you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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