you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
