i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
