I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize