I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
