Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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